Alphonse the Honest, Amiable Bull
Alphonse the Honest, Amiable Bull stood in his field quietly chewing the cud on this fine March morning. Spring was in the air and the grass tasted of sweet buttercups. Although Alphonse could not read, he loved to collect words. He asked the other animals to write them down on a scrap of paper; which he collected together in a small suitcase next to his manger. Alphonse loved to look at the exotic scribbles.
Sergeant Sally of the March Hares ran up to Alphonse. “Have you seen Jack? He’s gone missing!”
“Aye” Alphonse replied, “he be in the field yonder.”
Sally the Hare thanked Alphonse the Honest, Amiable Bull. “Thanks Alphonse, you’re very helpful! I will write down helpful for you later!”
Alphonse grinned; that was a new word for his collection and name. Not long after Sally departed, Cecil the Dapper Fox strolled over leaning upon his silver tipped cane on this pleasant April day.
“Good day, Alphonse,” he began “I’m in a bit of a pickle; I cannot decide whether to wear a blue suit or a grey one.”
Alphonse chewed the cud and replied: “Grey I’d say Master Fox; it brings out your lovely red coat love-r-ly.”
May was in full bloom and Cecil the Dapper Fox thanked Alphonse the Honest, Amiable and Helpful Bull for his help.
“I say you are most thoughtful Alphonse, most thoughtful.” The Fox scribbled the word on a piece of paper and went on his way.
Alphonse sighed contentedly and placed the new word in his collection. His field was always busy with others passing through, so he never lacked for companionship only new words to look at.
He loved the spring; the smell of the pasture growing after the rain showers, the bright yellow daffodils and delicate pink sweet peas.
The Gossipy Bees buzzed busily around Alphonse’s ears. “Ooo arr, hello tiny Bees; what brings ye to my field?”
“Oh Alphonse! Felicity fell in the pond! Wet through he is!”
“Oh deary me, that is a shame,” said Alphonse basking in the June sunshine, “perhaps he should lie in the sun until he’s dry, that’s what I would do.”
“That’s a clever idea! Well done Alphonse!”
Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful and Thoughtful Bull grinned as the gossiping Bees drew out the word ‘clever’ for him. He took it away gratefully and popped it safely in his suitcase of words.
The July sun high in the sky and Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful and Clever Bull was basking in the warmth in his field. Every so often a bird would kindly fly by, land on his back and give it a good scratch.
Felicity the Cat slunk past, his hair huge and bushy now dry. “‘ello Felicity, should be a lovely summer,” called Alphonse cheerily. Felicity scowled and said “You’re always so happy and optimistic Alphonse.”
“Ooo I likes that word, can I haves it please Felicity?”
The Cat scrawled down the word ‘optimistic’ and left searching for snacks.
Alphonse the Honest, Amicable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Clever and Optimistic Bull huffed up and down his field this August day. He very excited, the Mice were having a wedding and although he couldn’t leave his field they promised him cake and tales of how the day went. A bird in the sky caught his attention briefly; he slipped and fell on his side.
“Oh you are clumsy Alphonse!” said Sir Gerald, as the splendidly dressed Mice lined up to push him to his feet.
“Here’s the word and some cake,” said Lady Jane as the Mice left for the wedding party.
Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever and Clumsy Bull stood in his field on the crisp autumnal morning, contemplating the September colours of the leaves on the trees. High up Frank the Anxious Squirrel was collecting nuts for winter.
“Oh deary me! I’m running out of time!” he cried as he puffed away on a tiny acorn pipe.
“Don’t worry Frank,” shouted up Alphonse. “You can shares my food if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks Alphonse, you’re most generous!” said Frank; as they shared an extra piece of cake the Mice had delivered.
“Here’s the word and thanks!” chuckled Frank.
October brought Alwyn the Owl to Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever, Clumsy and Generous Bull‘s field.
“That’s quite an interesting name you have there Alphonse!” exclaimed Alwyn.
“I do likes my words I do,” mooed Alphonse happily. “And there’s another!”
“Keep yourself warm from now on,” warned Alwyn and she flew up to the trees.
“Don’t worry about me Owly, I have love-r-ly straw in my manger,” he shouted up at her as she left. Walking over to his suitcase, he added the latest word to his collection and lay down in the straw for a nap.
Robin the Town Crier swooped in and landed on Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever, Clumsy, Generous and Interesting Bull‘s head.
“Warning! Warning! Winter is coming! Warning!” chirped Robin loudly. Alphonse awoke with a start. “Ooo you scared me little Robin!”
“It’s November now Alphonse, time to get warm and settle back for winter.”
“I likes winter,” said Alphonse. “Everything is love-r-ly and slow. Snowflakes are pretty!”
“You’re very patient,” observed Robin. “Most animals prefer the sunny summer!”
Alphonse liked wintertime especially well; it was the time for settling down and cuddling together for warmth and good cheer.
Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever, Clumsy, Generous, Interesting and Patient Bull shivered in the brisk December air. Winter brought the snows and even the Stag paid a visit.
“Hullo, big Bull; cold day isn’t it?” he had said. Alphonse was surprised; Stags don’t normally stop by and he was lost for words. Instead he passed him a piece of paper from his collection.
“Tremendous?” The Stag was taken aback. “I think this may have been meant for you, my big Bully friend,” he said as he passed it back to Alphonse. Shaking his antlers, the Stag moved on.
The piercing cry of Tony the Cocky Rooster woke Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever, Clumsy, Generous, Interesting, Patient and Tremendous Bull from his snooze. January was a cold month and he slept a lot to keep warm.
“Oh do you have to be so loud Tony?” grumbled Alphonse. Tony strutted over and wiggled his head. “I’ll do what I want, who’s gonna stop me? who? who?”
“No-one Tony, I was sleeping is all,” said Alphonse, eyes rolling in amusement.
“You’re always sleeping Alphonse, you’re just a sleepy Bull.” Tony pecked the word to a paper and left.
“Alphonse wake up! You fell over and were asleep once more!”
Alphonse the Honest, Amiable, Helpful, Thoughtful, Optimistic, Clever, Clumsy, Generous, Interesting, Patient, Tremendous and Sleepy Bull opened his eyes to a sideways image of a Sheep against white February sky.
“Wha- whars that now?” Alphonse dribbled. There was something wet in his ear which felt very strange.
“Rain Alphonse, your ears are flooded!” mimed the Sheep telling him to turn his head the right way. “Come on, let’s get to a tree; Oh bedraggled Alphonse! I thought of a perfect word to rhyme, but unfortunately we’ve run out of…”
The Angry Farmer 
